I believe there are two types of readers in this world:
People who DNF and those who don't. I am more of the second category. I feel bad person when I stopped a book halfway through. Even if the book is not of my liking, I tend to push myself to finish it. But that can also apply to my life every day…
“Never force yourself to read a book that you do not enjoy. There are so many good books in the world that it is foolish to waste time on one that does not give you pleasure.”
–Atwood H. Townsend
What is "DNF"? And how can it relate to real life?
I think most of the readers in this world know what DNF means. For the people who don't: "Do Not Finish.
The term DNF is used when a person didn't enjoy the book and stopped at some point. Not finishing it. This term is something I don't usually do while reading. You probably might ask: "why?". Well, when I end a book without finishing it, I feel like a complete and utter failure. I feel incomplete and with the urge to actually finish it.
Maybe this is something my OCD is compulsive to do (lol). But I can literally feel something physical when I do not finish a book. As crazy as it sounds. I really hope I'm not alone in this haha.
So, DNFing a book can actually have some similarities with real life. While researching why people tend to DNF, I realized that most of them gave the same reasons:
I feel like a failure and/or guilty
I feel like breaking a promise
I'm a bad person for doing it
We apply these reasons to other situations in life. We have a job we don't like because "it pays". We study a major we don't like because society has told us quitters are losers. This very thing happened to me. I majored in something I did not like. I cried and studied a career that did not fulfill me. Just because I was afraid of what my parents would say about me. Because I thought and felt that you start you have to finish. If not, you are a failure to society. Or, more importantly: to yourself.
It took me 3 years to be able to say it out loud. I said it when I just had graduated. And when I said it, I was a complete mess; afterward, I felt like a 10,000 lb. weight was lifted from me. A weight I didn't know I was carrying.
Maybe I gave TMI. But it was the only example I could really relate to. Because I realized that I also don't like to DNF in real life. Maybe that's why I struggle so much to apply it when reading. Probably that's why some of you don't DNF too.
Maybe I strayed a bit from the initial topic. But why should we read/do something we are not enjoying? Honest question and there is no wrong answer.
There is a rational thought about why we should DNF books and things in life. If you don't enjoy a meal you're eating, you DO NOT eat it. If you do not like a piece of clothing, you don't wear it. Life is too short to do things we don't like. Things that don't fill our souls.
At the same time, DNFing and giving low ratings to books actually help the industry. Giving publishers, editors, and writers insight into what people like and don't. This way, they can improve their writing and get a better target market.
My Conclusion
We shouldn't feel guilty about DNFing. There are millions of other books out there. You just need to find the right one for you. Maybe change the trope and/or genre. It is ok if you don't like the most popular book of the moment (*cough* The Hunger Games *cough*). Not everything should be your cup of tea.
More importantly: you are NOT letting anyone down. Please believe me. That also implies to me. I am still learning too. It will not be a change that happens overnight.
We do not owe anyone anything. Yes, that includes you and me. I know it sounds like an impossible task. But we can work together towards it.
I believe we will feel much better when we decide to only please ourselves. To start doing the thing we like and love. For example, this year, I decided to get my tattoo. I was done with the terrifying thought of what people would say about me. It was something for me. Not them.
It's ok. It's ok if you don't feel safe to do it now. Or ever.
The first step is to acknowledge it. Then decide if it's something that bothers you. If it is, with tiny baby steps work on it. Reading is supposed to bring us joy.
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