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Wishes and Doubts in Books

This is something that has been on my mind for a while… What would I have asked of the Dark Gods instead of Addie?


“There is a defiance in being a dreamer.”

–V.E. Schwab


Drowning in Doubts and in the Past

A little over a year ago, I read The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. And wow, that book really left an imprint on me… sometimes, when the world is as chaotic as usual (or when I am all alone at 2 am), I tend to ask myself what would have asked the Dark God… I know I shouldn’t because he is the Devil and so, but I mean… who hasn't wondered what they would have asked instead of Addie's wish. And sadly, there are too many things in my life that I wish would have been different.

But probably the biggest thing I kind of regret choosing is my bachelor… I was 16 or 17 when I chose my life path career. I was a baby when I had to decide. We all were when we have to decide what we want to study in university. We are too naive, or maybe we were forced, or in my case, I had no idea why haha… I had tried to remember how I chose that option, and I always come out blank. Which is annoying because being one of the biggest decisions of my life I should remember, right?

And that's what I would probably ask the Dark Gods, for me to be able to change my decision when I started university, to not be afraid of choosing something that probably was a weird decision for everyone else, and not let the opinions of others rule my life. I have wished for this to be a dream, to wake up and still be in my last year of high school with enough time to choose something else. But that's the funny thing with these things… you never truly get what you wanted. Look at Addie, she did have her freedom, and she was able to be independent, but at what cost? (I won't say the whole thing for the ones who haven't read this masterpiece).


Books, Choices, and my Future

What I'm trying to say is if Addie didn't have made the bargain, she would probably have had a very different life, with different choices and decisions to be made. She wouldn't have met Henry, wouldn't have lived and experienced all those adventures. Or for example, Feyre, if she did not kill Andras, wouldn't have been in Prythian and met the Inner Circle; she wouldn't have met a morally grey character with stunning dark violet eyes.

The examples could go on and on, but to summarize, if these characters had followed a different path than the one they did, they wouldn't have met incredible people and done brave stuff. More importantly, they wouldn't have become the better version of themselves, even if they had to go through hell and back. Yes, they did suffer, but at the same time, they earn so much more.

And that's something reading has given me. Reading about these characters and their tough choices has made me realize that while probably my career path wasn't the one for me, my life isn't over. I can still do a 180° turn in my life at 25 (even if society makes it seem impossible).

Because one thing I know for sure is that if I had chosen another major, another university, or something completely different than what I did, I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with reading again, I wouldn't have read ACOTAR and, therefore I wouldn't be part of my Valkyrie's book club or have opened my Bookstagram and not known this community that has become my found family and my dearest friends.

So… do I regret my professional career choice? Probably. Did I learn from it? Oh. Absolutely yes. Would I choose it again? As likely as not. But, am I glad I did it because I found Bookstagram and you beautiful people? Affirmative from here to Prythian and beyond.

 

What do you think? Do you sometimes have the same doubts as me?

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